Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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