There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your cock deserves a montage
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
