I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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