Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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