in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
