how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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