he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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