2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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