Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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