that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
