Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
