he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you traded sex for a burrito?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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