wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
