Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
