the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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