You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So squirting runs in the family.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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