there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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