I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
