dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
