My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
