Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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