I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize