I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
