i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It was confusing and full of hummus
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
