We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
ok first of all what the fuck
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
