Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
MIDGETS
????
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
soo... how was my night?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
