he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
