I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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