honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
