you win again, gameday.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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