remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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