I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize