I need help removing her.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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