Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize