Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
