She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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