you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
