To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You ruined the universe
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
