im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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