That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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