I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
