I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's never too late to be topless.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize