dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
