And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
