She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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