I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
