the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
