Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wish you could order shots online.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
