this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
