You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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