I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
