we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
