i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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