so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
