Nicole vs. Life
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize