The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
