Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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