She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
