i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
