worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
