We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
