Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
